Terrible 2, Horrible 3 and how about 4???

I guess its time to put up your feet and enjoy the ride, because its going to be awhile before we return to our normal scheduled program.

A few weeks ago I took the boys out to dinner to celebrate a dear friends birthday and initially I was going to go solo but because my mom was not available I said, "what the heck I will take them along, Kristian napped and Joshua he will be fine once I get some food into him." I forgot to mention that they have a grandson that is very friendly with Kristian and they get along great. A few weeks ago Kristian and I tagged along to the beach with them and they had a blast. Well the dinner was a nightmare, and again I am sure I was being judged by the folks around us but hey they are just kids right, boys to be more exact!??

So when can I take Kristian to dinner and him not jump in his seat like he has wigglie worms in his pants or ants in his pants? I think for now we will be better off staying at home and enjoying the wilgglie worms with nobody to judge us.

It seems to me that one of the most important things that no one told me about parenthood is that three is worse than two. Everyone is sort of prepared for the Terrible Two’s. Very few of us are ready for what happens next.

But this is the interwebs and I can't see you. So I'm going to tell you the truth. Three is a lot worse than two and here's why:

1. Three is two with intent.

2. The good news is, they can speak. Oh wait did I say good news? Guess who can parrot an overheard curse word perfectly? Except now they can do it understanding the importance of timing.

3. They’re mostly potty trained. Of course that also means that when they crap on the floor, it's even more disgusting and they’ve probably done it on purpose.

4. Their lungs are bigger. Therefore, the tantrums are louder – especially in public. They also are perfectly aware of what annoys and humiliates you. They know... Oh, they know.

5. Little girls get a wee bit emotional at three. Not a lot, just enough to turn your house into a damn telenovela.

6. Little boys act as if destruction and mayhem is their job. More than their job - their duty.

7. All of a sudden – they get picky, picky, picky. After eating macaroni and cheese every other day their whole life, get ready to hear: "Momma. I not gonna eat dese noodles. Dey haf cheese all over dem and dat's GROSS."

8. They're independent and doing more things for themselves, which means that doing anything now takes approximately forever.

9. They're smart. So you can no longer trick them into eating healthy things or playing quietly while you try to gather your shattered nerves. Also, they’re self-aware enough to weigh the consequences and take what’s coming to them. Flooding the bathroom floor is totally worth ten minutes in time out.

10. Are you ready to leave your house? Well, your toddler isn't. Are you ready to walk down the street? Your toddler isn't. Is it time for you to leave the playground? Well, your toddler really, really isn't.